name that baby

Anyone for a game of Name That Haslam Baby? 

I'm 1/12th

I've ben in this werd plas for what my momy and dady call "On mont". Not tat i know wat tat mens. Mi "brotrs" sem to lik it a lot wen i smil. On ov mi brotrs,i tingk his nam is Wesly, has an obseshon ov insted ov softly pating mi hed,he liks to sqweeze mi arm ore leg. Wel, i just poopt,so se yoo latr.

-Calvin (as translated by Alex)